This being said it is where I have had the most issues when other people don’t share my exuberance & enthusiasm especially the way I express it!!
Yesterday I had a prime example of this. I meet up with a friend for a coffee. As we got chatting I became my enthusiastic self and my voice went up as it always does, with my arms waving around as I was describing something we were talking about. My friend immediately said “shush, keep your voice down you are very loud others will be looking”! It immediately closed me off! I apologized and went quiet and lost any enthusiasm I had! I felt like I was back at school and being told off by the teacher for talking in class (this happened often).
After that I was very careful what I said and how I said it which would have been o.k. but I felt closed down and withdrawn in to myself all spontaneity lost.
When I finally got home I reflected on what had happened and realized this was a common pattern throughout my life. I have a very resonate voice which has been great when dealing with people who are hard of hearing or if I was to be speaking on stage but not so good when I am trying to go un-noticed! My whisper seems to be a normal speaking voice so normal to others is loud.
What was very apparent to me was my need to fit in to please so that when someone finds something I am doing or saying not acceptable to them I feel slighted and hurt I take it personally! Here’s the thing I would never have said that to someone! It is not my place to tell them how they should or shouldn’t act or behave! I can only take responsibility for my own actions and behaviour. I like nothing more than to see someone full of enthusiasm for what they are saying or doing. It is infectious and lifts and brightens me up as well! I always feel good when I am around those people!
I then realized that I was apologizing for being me! I was feeling guilty for being myself.
I was shrinking to fit someone else’s standard of comfort!
It reminded me of a blog I read where Kate Northrup wrote:
“When we dim our own light the whole world gets a little bit darker”
May we share our stories with glee.
May we recount our revelations with rapture.
May we spread our joy without apology.
May we let others in on what’s amazing in our lives without turning down the volume.
May we choose our velocity and brightness based on what feels best to us rather than what makes those around us feel comfortable
Because when we do, we incite expansion, and the whole world gets a little bit brighter.
Creator of :Changing Your Thoughts, Living Deliberately and Ageless Living.
Latest posts by Bernice Fitzgibbon (see all)
- Add Enjoyment to Your Life by Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone - October 11, 2017
- Solutions for Health Problems as You Age. - February 26, 2017
- Good eating habits and healthy foods are key to staying healthier for longer. - February 23, 2017